funny how the mind is
forgetful of good times
and does not fight
to get rid of the bad times
i hear the sound
when i am submerged
in my bathroom tub
with lavender etals
mixed with a kind of
that cannot seem
cool the heat
in me



you said
i deserve everything i want
i want you
you say
i cannot have
why do men
to make you feel better
-stay with me

i thought everything would be ok
once you were
but you relive in my dreams
you visit me
in the darkness of the subconscious waters
that i swim in
to see each night
i hear you calling me
back to you
stay buried underneath the tangles of sea salt and weeds
for i no longer desire a love that hurts
because it is no love at all
if i am constantly
for you

i have searched light in darkness
and found wisdom
lonely in the night
walking by herself
i wondered how she never lost hope
that someone would hear her
writing her knowledge
on the pavements, in the concaves
of secret places
i saw her at the corner of midnight
her tongue cut out
by the world of men
walking out of balance
i have learned how filth is mixed with decency
how the sacred is made by the profane
how to be both enticed by
sin and purity
forgiveness is found
in obsucurity


i stopped going to bars and clubs it is a hang out place where people drink out their life’s frustrations and dance out their stress and the air is smog thick of it and drops into the sweat of my skin when the night is over i need a cleanse from being clothed in the filth of it